Jul 28 2008
Went On A Cruise
They had a casino (Oh Dear). They only offered one table for holdem. It was limit holdem. Never played live before. Never played limit before. Gave it a shot. Shaky start. Those people were out of control. I played three nights in a row with mostly the same players. It was hilarious and very disappointing at the same time.
The Players;
1)The self proclaimed porn star.
2)The comedian.
3)The chip splasher.
4)The quiet (but deadly) one.
5)The mouth.
6)The old Lady.
I found that it was very difficult to actually play what I considered proper poker, even for limit. Any two cards, anytime, all the way to the river. It was amazing. You would think this would be an easy game to beat. I folded alot. The dealers were very annoyed by the shenanigans, the cursing, the chip splashing. But this was a cruise ship and some of them were not capable of maintaining control.
The Shenanigans
The porn star kept telling us that he didn’t care about the money. The second night, he got into it with his Girlfriend (the porn producer) about fifteen feet from the table. The comedian coudn’t resist and started yelling at the guy to say he was sorry and that he was not going to win the argument. This went on for several minutes until the comedian felt it was necessary to go over there and get them to play rock paper scissors to see who the winner of the argument would be. Yes, it was funny. Especially when the waiter walked by. They both stopped mid-stream of a heated argument and ordered a drink.
The mouth was extremely intoxicated the first night. He was “The Man” and said it repeatedly. He got into it with just about everybody at the table. He was a pain in the ****.
The old lady beat the pants off everyone and left early with a profit.
The comedian had ample material with the cast of degenerate drunk bozo’s that were at the table and was actually pretty damned funny. I Found out the second night that he used to do stand up for a living.
The Chip Splasher sat to my right and had to have been the most annoying. He was one beer from falling off his chair. Every single hand he had to ask, “what’s the maximum bet?” He almost played every hand and to the dismay of everyone, actually won quite a few pots with his crap hole cards by sucking out. He would grab a stack of chips every hand and basically fling them in the direction of the pot. They went everywhere, everytime. He never got the bet right and this slowed the game down quite a bit.
The first two nights I left with a very small profit and had a pretty good time. The last night, most of the players were there again. This time most of us were sober. It was an enjoyable game. I continued to fold alot and pick my hands. I actually was able to bluff a guy into folding on the river for twenty more on a 150 pot. That was cool.
The Cooler Hand
A 10 off. KJQ rainbow flop. I’m not going anywhere. We do the raise re-raise cap thing all the way to the river with just about everyone staying in. I flip my straight. Villain (New to the table and unknown to any of us) flips his cards up and declares pair of jacks. Dealer places his cards into the muck and starts to shove the chips my way 300+ pot. Villain says, “Wait!, I think I had a flush.” Dealer stops and pulls his cards out of the muck. The two cards he pulled out did make the flush. Dealer starts to shove the chips to villain. I protested. Dealer said it was his own fault and the “Cards speak.”
Look, if the guy did win then so be it. I did not see his cards clearly before the dealer mucked them. I just didn’t like the way it went down. I waited a long time for that hand.
All in all, it was a good time.
